I had not noticed that I had been accustomed to wearing protective styles so often that I had stopped wearing my hair out. Am I embarrassed of my hair I thought? How could I so easily tell another young girl to wear her natural hair out and I hadn't worn my hair out in months? In fact, many people thought that faithful wig of mine was my real hair. I was living a lie and not knowing it. So this year starting in September of 2014 I decided to wear my hair out more.
It was a little hard at first because I had grown accustomed to just cornrowing my hair and throwing the wig on it. I had also grown accustomed to styling my braids or two strand twists with weave for added length and longevity. I had to re-learn styling my hair. I didn't however have to re-learn how to take care of my hair. Luckily I had embarked on a new journey to finally grow my hair long and kick habits from my perm days (long over due), which made my battle easier. The hardest part was that my hair was in the darn mid-length stage and it made it very frustrating.
So I had to make a concerted effort to choose my hair over and over again. I was hard in the fact that when I first went natural I did use weave to get me through the mid-length stage that I had just went back to because of color and bleach damage. However, I am and was armed with the fact that I have made it through the mid-length stage before. I know that it really is a matter of months before it goes away, but feels like eternity! I had to keep choosing my hair over and over again! So, I did the same styles like double strand twists, but with my own hair and the good ole tuck and roll. I did falter once in July and use weave for double strand twists because I was desperately tired in the morning and wanted the extra snooze. After taking those out in August I soon regretted it because I had a few mid-shaft breaks even though I had gained some inches. I rebooted and now I style with my hair alone. I wanted to go back to what I was doing as a young girl and teen enjoying my hair!
One year later September 2015, I am wearing my hair through thick and thin. I pledge to do this until I reach my hair goal of all my hair being bra strap length. Of course, I have a longer goal, but I wanted to re-dedicate myself to accepting my hair that G-d gave me!