Saturday, April 4, 2015

Missing the TWA!

I miss the days of my teeny weeny afro sometimes when I look at the lovely ladies who have just big chopped.  Sometimes I think I did not bask in the glow of my big chop like I should.  I wish I wasn't so busy with college at times where I just ignored thinking about what styles to do, or my hair altogether.  I also let my natural friends and friends sometimes dictate what I did to my hair.  Ultimately, I think I miss the liberation I felt when I first cut off all of that long permed hair.

If I had to do it all over again, then I would have set a date to big chop and plan a regime.  I would have studied the natural hair sites at the time and sat down with my natural hair friends for tips.  I also would have learned how to African thread properly before I big chopped too.  Instead, my big chop was a rush of emotions and as a result of a weave gone wrong that gave me an excuse to do what I had been dreaming for years to do.  I wanted to stop perming my hair!

I wanted to stop perming my hair, but at the core of it all was that I needed liberation from everyone's expectations for me, including my mother.  I had "transitioned" for about two years before my big chop, but that transition was interrupted every step of the way by my mother.

I would come home during my breaks and my mother would ask me, "Why I didn't perm my hair?".  At first, I said that I didn't want to and then she would promptly perm my hair.  Then, I would say I didn't have enough money or I didn't know any good hair stylist and then she would promptly perm my hair.  The best alternative came in weaves.  The last weave before I went back to natural was by a woman I not gone to before.  Little did I know that my hair had been severely tangled in one front section of my hair until I decided to take the weave out less than a month later.

I seized the moment.  I grabbed the scissors and chopped that section off.  I then called my mother and told her that I have to cut all of my hair off because it was all matted.  After I hung up, I chopped the rest off!  It was exhilarating!!!!   Really I think I missed that moment of time of true liberation from everyone!  I miss that moment of strength and glory.

Peace ladies!